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Monday, March 26, 2007

Fussy 'mussy'


We all live in a fussy world. I mean, let's face it, we are surrounded by fussy people with fussy procedures to rule our lives and fussy issues that just keep popping up every now and then. I admit that I AM a fussy person (guess you can tell that from my blog huh? ;p). So, who else is better to write about this topic other than me?

First of all, let's define who actually fall into this fussy group. According to
Hyperdictionary, those who are fussy can be perversely irritable. Why? They can go on and on babbling about their coiffure that didn't turn out to be as they expected, or how the cashier gave him change 20 cents short or how emotionally scarred she is when her favourite singer is voted out of a reality show or how the salary is far from enough to support the family (the list really goes on). Expressions like 'making a mountain out of a molehill', 'beating around the bush' and 'sore to the ears' aptly describe those who are fussy.

So, where can fussy people express their grievances and complaints? In other words, where can they unstuck this nail from their bottoms? Well, for starters, customers hotline, comments boxes and emails are there for a reason. Then, there's this blog phenomena where people can babble, nag and yack to hundreds or thousands of people without having to utter a single word. Though of course, not all blogs are about trivial stuffs mind you. There are those which feature serious issues and topics for discussion. As for mine, I see it as a mixed of everything - for some issues, I may laugh one day at how silly I was to be bragging about them; for other topics, they may provide me (and hopefully, readers too) with useful information and nostalgia on my drawing and writing collections.

However, let's not forget that sometimes, fussy stuffs are meant to safeguard us or to smooth things up. After all, one man's trivial is another man's crucial. For examples, some may think that wearing seatbelts or helmets while on the roads or filling up a form in BLACK CAPITAL LETTERS only as petty but such regulations are there to save lives and to save time.

So, what makes people fussy?

1. They try to avoid dealing with much bigger issues. My sketches above is a great analogy (I think). A man complaints about chips lying around on the floor when his whole house is actually one big mess and in need of an extreme makeover - fast!

2. They are too self-centred. Everything is about them. It is extremely difficult to please them. They lack emotional intelligence. They never put themselves in the shoes of others. They always think that bad things (despite how minute they are) should never happen to them. They are not grateful for what they have and everything must be either their way or the highway.

3. They may show kindness towards others but they are actually snobbish in reality. For example, an employer may scold the maid harshly just because the maid missed a spot, or a nosy staff who likes to find the small mistakes of colleagues and lets the boss knows about it.

4. Those who are facing some personal problems may become fussy about things in order to attract other people's attention or as a way to express their (hidden) feelings or in some cases, so that their fussiness would cause other people to leave them alone (since depressed people tend to think that nobody really cares about them). For example, parents may nag about their daughter who's still not yet married not because they enjoy doing so, but because that is how they show their worries over the daughter's future.

5. Some may drag frivolous issues just so that people would forget about bigger issues or as a mode to disunite the society.

6. A motivator once said in a seminar that it really annoys him when bosses like to snoop around in case they can catch their staff red-handed or those who like to make big issues out of small matters. In my opinion, bosses like these and those who run such companies are in desperate need for management and leadership trainings or something.

Why we should not be fussy? People may avoid and misunderstand us; being fussy increases the risk of getting a heart attack, high blood pressure and the like; a fussy person would cause unnecessary stress to other people; employees may make a noise or resign at the slightest dissatisfaction (especially if there's not much benefits to please them in the first place); children may become rebellious; and bigger/much serious issues may not be given enough attention than it should or they may be totally discarded away.

So, if fussy people are getting on your nerves, perhaps it helps to think of them as
Hippopotamus.

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Friday, March 23, 2007

Irrational Fears? (reworded)

Today, 23 March 2007 is the expected delivery date for my wife. However, still no big signs yet that our little kiddo is coming out into this world. It is said that mothers tend to genetically inherit their mothers' pattern of delivery of whether delivering earlier or later than the expected dates. So, we'll pray and wait with bated breath, for that day to come as smoothly as possible, Insha' Allah...

I read that, despite arming ourselves with theories and practicals on raising the children, would-be-parents still have fears over how they would fare as parents. How about you, especially those of you parents out there, did or do you feel the same way too? Among some of the common fears are:

1. the bad influence of society would somewhat deviate their children's path from Islamic and moral values, one way or another,

2. some parents totally forbid their children from getting a motorbike license, let alone own one. However they would still fear that the children would secretly ride motorcycles without their knowledge (with regard to this matter, I'm still not sure about my wife, but I am sooooooooooo against riding this unstable, two-wheeled machine),

3. the current trend sees school children competing each other to get as many A's as possible in their exams (although God knows whether these students actually understand fully what they have memorised) and with such stiff competition, parents worry if their children would find this whole A's rat race too burdensome,

4. their children don't see them as their hero, their role model; as someone to look up to,

5. when the time comes, the children would one day need to face the harsh realities of the world, starting with their school years,

6. when they grow up, they would have to find their 'ideal' future husbands and wives and sometimes, blind love can cover a person's eyes from distinguishing what's right and what's wrong,

7. raising the children would somewhat cause unnecessary strains to the marriage,

8. how can they know if they have become over protective, too strict or too lenient towards their children - in other words, they kinda' 'screw up' without consciously realising it?,

9. their children won't share their problems/issues with the parents, but instead with the wrong people or they bottle things up inside,

10. their children fear the parents too excessively, instead of seeing them as parents-cum-buddies whom they can get closed to and talk to, about almost everything under the sun.

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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Delivery course




My wife and I went to "antenatal class - the art of parenthood" organised by UKM Hospital last 4th March 2007. It was a good course. However, it didn't come with the teachings of how to deliver and raise your child the Islamic ways, like we had expected. Probably because the course is open to the public and not just to Muslim (future) parents only. We also recently found out that Pusrawi Hospital does include those aspects in their antenatal class, and at a cheaper cost, but then, guess too late for that now, huh....sigh...

Anyway, here are some of the new things that me (especially) and wife learned from the class:

1. Do you know that during pregnancy, a woman undergoes a series of changes in terms of physical changes, anatomical adjustment, psychological (emotional) changes and endriconological (hormon) changes? Alhamdulillah, throughout her pregnancy, my wife doesn't go through any radical changes. She didn't even experience vomiting or nauseatic in her first trimester. In fact, she still looks all rosy and energetic despite it's already towards the end of the third trimester. Hopefully, her future pregnancies would be just as 'easy' as the first pregnancy.

2. What are the labour signs that can help you and your wife prepare for the actual labour? There are 3 common signs - pain, show and leaking. Hopefully you can figure something out based on these terms. I feel somewhat reluctant to explain further since this is not really an antenatal blog, haha...

3. Post-partum blues can start as early as 4 days after delivery. This problem is common and occurs in more than 50% of new mothers. If even after taking measures to prevent and/or help you cope with the blues, you still continue feeling upset beyond 14 days, medical treatment should be sought after.

4. There are many ways to breastfeed your babies and forms of antenatal exercises.

5. We were also one of the couples who attended who got picked out to practise giving bath to a dummy baby.

6. Some of the new terms to help enrich my vocabularies, hehe, are Quickening (the stage of pregnancy at which the mother first feels movements of the fetus), Braxton-Hicks (a tightening of the uterine muscles that most women feel especially during the 2nd or 3rd trimester of pregnancy) and Regional Blocks (epidural and spinal blocks performed by anaesthetist as a pain relief during childbirth).

All in all, it was a great course!

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Monday, March 19, 2007

Recent developments

My dear intelligent child, may I remind you of this oath between you and Allah:

Bismillaahirrahmaanirrahiimmmm,

Surah Al-A'raf (verses 172-173):

And when your Lord brought forth from the children of Adam, from their backs, their descendants, and made them bear witness against their own souls: Am I not your Lord? They said: Yes! we bear witness. Lest you should say on the day of resurrection: Surely we were heedless of this.

Or you should say: Only our fathers associated others (with Allah) before, and we were an offspring after them: Wilt Thou then destroy us for what the vain doers did?

To future Muslim parents who are expecting a child or already with children, here are some prayers that we all can recite (look them up!):

Bismillaahirrahmaanirrahiimmmm,

Surah Al-Baqarah (verse 128) - praying so that our children are obliged to Allah:

"Our Lord! make of us Muslims, bowing to Thy (Will), and of our progeny a people Muslim, bowing to Thy (will); and show us our place for the celebration of (due) rites; and turn unto us (in Mercy); for Thou art the Oft-Returning, Most Merciful.

Surah Ali-Imran (verse 38) - praying so that we are granted with good offspring:

There did Zakariya pray to his Lord, saying: "O my Lord! Grant unto me from Thee a progeny that is pure: for Thou art He that heareth prayer!

Surah Al-Furqan (verse 74) - praying so that we are granted with offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes:

And those who pray, "Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous."

Surah Ibrahim (verse 40) - praying so that our offspring never neglect their prayers:

O my Lord! make me one who establishes regular Prayer, and also (raise such) among my offspring O our Lord! and accept Thou my Prayer.

Here's fetal development according to http://www.babycentre.co.uk/ during weeks 37-39:

Your baby weighs close to 2.8 kg and may be about 50 cm long from head to toe. Your baby's head is now cradled in your pelvic cavity -- surrounded and protected by your pelvic bones. This position clears some much-needed space for his/her growing legs and buttocks.
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Your little one's organ systems are fully developed and in place, but the lungs will be last to reach maturity. The colour of your baby's eyes in the first minutes after birth won't last -- exposure to light changes a baby's initial eye colour. Most African and Asian babies usually have dark grey or brown eyes at birth -- their dark eyes becoming a true brown or black after the first six months or year.
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Anywhere between 2.5 and 3.8 kg is a healthy range for newborns. Your amniotic fluid, once clear, is now pale and milky from your baby's shedding vernix caseosa (a greasy, white substance which covers a fetus in utero and protects the fetus' skin). The outer layers of skin are also sloughing off as new skin forms underneath. Only 5 per cent of babies are born on their scheduled due date. Most doctors wait another two weeks before considering a pregnancy overdue.
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P/S: Source of the above sketch: Unknown.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

The Good 'Older' Days.... huhu...

I was pm off from work last Friday, 09 March 2007, to pick up my brother in law from his reputable boarding school, due to the coming school holidays (which is this whole week).

While I was waiting for him to come down from his dormitory, a student came to me.

He said, "Assalamualaikum pakcik....." Pakcik? Hmmm.... in our culture, pakcik is the kind of name you address to men who are 40 years and older. Pretending to keep cool, I then replied, "Waalaikumussalam...." wondering at the same time, how come the kid looked eager when he approached me.

"Pakcik ni, bapak pada Amir (not real name) ya?", which meant "Are you Amir's father?"

Gasp! I almost fainted upon hearing that. Was I old enough to be a father to a 16-year-old? So when did I get married then, when I was 15?

Forcing myself to grin, I replied nicely telling him my relationship with Amir. After all, the kid was a friend to Amir and he did ask me in a nice way anyway.

Talk about growing old. I guess being married may one way or another have that effect on you huh? Not that it's a bad thing, just that I hope age doesn't catch up with me sooner than I thought.

Just the other day, my wife's work finished at 8 pm, while I at 5.30 pm as usual. With not much else to do in the office, I found out there were three movie screenings after 5.30, and with each movie's running time of about one and a half hours, they should end by 7.30; giving me plenty of time for a Maghrib prayer, grabbed some take-away dinner and drove to wife's work place.

However, instead of deciding which one of the three movies should I catch, I ended up with zero. The reason? I felt too lazy to rush off to the cinema, despite I would still need to go to the same building eventually, since there was where I parked my car.

Hmmmmm.... in the past, I wouldn't mind to punch out in time, walk quickly to the pedestrian bridge (the shopping complex where the cinema is in, is across the road) and be among the first in line to enter the cinema, just so that I could enjoy some trailers before the movie started. But now...... I am too lazy and tired to walk? I AM kind of old(er) huh?

The other thing/change about me that I notice lately is how I like to babble, nag and 'pot pet, pot pet'. Heck! even my mum couldn't escape from being corrected by me, hehe.

Gulp, now where did I catch this habit from, I wonder. My parents don't nag. My late grandma, though she nagged a little bit, only on matters that were of concerned to her, and her occasional nagging never really bothered me.

So, why do I nag? I think the stress (sometimes) of driving on the streets of Malaysia is the large contributory factor. Ever since I become a 'full-time' driver not too long ago and with all these inconsiderate Malaysian drivers among us, my mouth just can't stop babbling and cursing (less now on the latter.... there's a baby coming).

There was one day, my wife was hand-feeding me with some chips while I was driving. When I started to babble at one point, she immediately stuffed some chips into my mouth and said, "Makan ni, kasi senyap sikit...", meaning "Eat this, that should keep you quiet..." Hahahaha.... luckily I didn't choke laughing.

Hopefully, when we have children, the nagging role can be transferred to my wife laaa :o, while all I have to do, is to give this fierce look and short, but strict warnings to discipline them (among other civilised methods, of course).

Sigh... who am I to predict how me and wife would perform as parents, and sigh (again)...., I am getting old, aren't I? Huhu...

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Thursday, March 08, 2007

Lonely & Abandoned 'Roads'

Last week, Tuesday 27 February 2007, my wife was admitted to the Hospital UKM, to monitor the baby's heart rate. Alhamdulillah, both wife and baby were fine and she only had to stay at the hospital for a night.

The next morning (Wednesday), I was rummaging through my wife's stuffs as she told me she had forgotten to bring her medical card. She had asked me to pass her the card, before I headed off to work. The card was for the doctors to review her previous check-ups.

However, I couldn't find it anywhere. Thankfully, being a doctor she is, she could still remember the data in the card and therefore, she would just relay that information verbally to her doctors.

I only realised I was already late for work after I started my car. Usually, at times like these, I would still keep my cool despite running late. I don't believe in rushing so much to the extent of endangering own and other people's life (if driving recklessly) or cursing other people (if the person in front is walking so slowly). I believe that the best way to do is try to make up the time already lost and try to reach whichever destination at the best time possible.

When I arrived at this one intersection (it was nearby the hospital where my wife was admitted), the traffic from the right was not that busy. There was another driver in front of me, driving a car of the same make and model. Both of us were waiting for the traffic to be cleared, before we could turn and take the right lanes.

I saw a last car had just passed us by and there was not a single vehicle behind it. At that time, my attention was only to the right when I released the brake and started pressing slightly on the gas pedal. That was then when I turned my face around to look to the front again. Unfortunately, it was a bit too late...

'Gedebush' - ugh, I hated that sound. That wasn't the sound of a papaya which had fallen off from its branch or a someone who had been punched by an opponent, a Tamil movie style.

If only I had known the car in front of me hadn't moved an inch, I wouldn't have released the brake yet (but later, the car did move a little bit due to the slight impact that my car exerted on hers... sigh).

The first thoughts that came to my mind were, 'what the heck was she waiting for and why was she still not yet moving? She was still looking to the right?????? Was she afraid that some kind of an invisible car might just suddenly appear or something??'

Despite all those questions that came to me, I knew traffic rule would still say I was at fault, coz I banged her from behind. I stepped out to look at the kind of damages I had caused to both our cars. Nothing on mine but some slight damages to her bumper and bonnet.

The whole situation gave me a deja vu feeling all of a sudden. This was the second accident I had while driving by myself (alhamdulillah, both are minor). The first one was when I was on my way back hometown for my wedding. I could still remember how shaken both my parents and my wife (at that time, still a fiance) were when I relayed the news over the phone.

So, what part is the deja vu? Well, both accidents occurred when the traffic was at its peak. Despite many people were around at that time, they all just left/ignore us and let us sort things out ourselves. None of them actually bothered to help, other than to peek from their windows and looked away; more like telling themselves 'why bother, just a dent'. To tell you the truth, I felt kind of lonely and abandoned at those times. I don't know why, I just felt it that way (on both occasions). Not that I expected everyone to gather around and asked me how I was doing or something. Now that would be an unnecessary chaos! Hmm....

And God forbid, I wasn't hoping for a much serious accident either. In fact I am so thankful both accidents only affected properties (which could be replaced and repaired), with no injuries whatsoever to anybody.

Ya Allah! May You spare me and those I love and care about in this world, from any kind of untoward incidents or accidents. Aaaameeeennn....

P/S: The first one I had was during a crawl at the Highway, near Seremban exit. I was hit from behind, and quite a bad one. And the other car (believe it or not, it belonged to an Ah Long) was worse. It was badly smashed and couldn't move anymore. Luckily, we acted like civilised people (and he never offered me any loans either, hehe) and we agreed on me claiming from his insurance. In fact, the first things he asked me to do were to write down his car plate no., his I/C no. and his phone no. He sort of admitted his fault, for accidentally pressing the gas pedal so hard during a crawl...

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Monday, March 05, 2007

Cyber World Part 2 - How 'searchable' are you?

I remember the first time when I was exposed to the world of cyber space. I was sitting next to a friend in the computer lab. He was searching for something through the Yahoo search engine. Despite knowing some basics about computers, on that day, I was rather intimidated by what appeared on his screen. They looked somehow complicated and not at all familiar to me - there was a spinning globe on the right corner of the screen (eh? what could it do?), an address bar that he typed the address in (err... what kind of address?), and with some clickable weird-looking symbols, links and photos that would direct him to new pages.

I was wondering, if I were to use the internet for the first time, what and how should I do it? Should I tinker with it the wrong way, would the PC crash or shut down or something? Or worse, would I accidentally cause a breakdown to the central system, which controlled the whole of Internet. Haha, laugh all you want, I initially thought all those websites were being monitored and programmed by some government bodies or something. Little did I know the vastness of cyber space, where I could virtually find almost anything - from facts to theories, information to stories, and stuffs that I couldn't even imagine at that time...

Now why do people surf the internet? Different people have different reasons for doing so:

1. for students, they may rely on the net to help them in their study; in completing their thesis or to further enhance their understanding on a certain topic.

2. for workers, having knowledge about the net may be part of their work scopes, like to design and maintain a company's websites; to respond to customers' enquiries or complaints; to know competitors' marketing strategies or to get the right materials for their next writing endeavour.

3. some of us may use the net to keep in touch with their friends and families or to make new friends via means of emails, IM's or chat rooms (by the way, my Yahoo IM is abdunmy, hehe).

4. some may prefer the internet to get the latest updates in news, weather, sports and entertainment.

5. for some, internet can provide the means for shopping where all they need to do is to click on the shopping carts instead of pushing them.

6. internet can also provide the means to generate main or additional sources of income - some already make millions through it (heck! the founders of YouTube are now worth billions, thanx to the power of internet), while others are slowly realising the potentials (for fellow Muslims, just make sure they are halal, ok... don't do some online gambling or anything like that).

7. there are those who surf websites to learn about religions (however, be extra careful if you fall into this category, as you have to ensure that you are not learning from the wrong sources); get cooking recipes; share experiences in children development or to seek advice for tax matters.

8. there are also those who log in to satisfy their sickening lust for porn, sex and graphic images or videos (Nau'zubillah....)

Whichever the reason(s) may be, the internet has become part of daily activities for most people in the world, including the elderlies. Don't be surprised if grandparents these days, know how to keep in touch with their grand-children and see each other's faces via the internet.

Search engine is one of the most used internet tools. In fact, there are those who use the tool as an alternative way to find their long-lost school mates or families.

Famous search engines like Google or Yahoo always rank their most popular searches. Most of the time, celebrities (actors, singers, athletes) top the chart, if not world's richest people or some high profile companies. However, some much-publicised incidents/tragedies may also shoot straight to the top of the rank from time to time.

Ask anyone who has their presence on the internet, they would most likely want to be one of the most searchable items, if not in the world, at least regionally or locally. Whether in promoting their companies, their businesses, their ideas/products/services or simply their personal websites and blogs, many of them put the right keywords in their metatags so that the search engines can detect them and/or submit their websites to those search engines.

If you were to enter or perform a web search based on your name, whether wholly or partly, what would the results be? Of all those (probably countless) results that you get, how many of them are accurate (i.e. actually relate to you)? And for these accurate ones, where do they appear among those other results which do not concern you?

Read Cyber World Part 1 here.

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