Penguin RushI Miss U Granny :(
I’m sure each one of us ever wished they could turn back the time for all sorts of reasons – either to avoid making that mistake or to make something right. As for me, one of those times would be the year 2000.Before departing to England in 1997, my granny had been healthy except for her usual joint pains. You see, my granny had been living with us even before my sister and I were born. She was the one who took care of us whenever our parents were working. Our knowledge of reciting Al Qur’an was largely due to her diligence in teaching us.
While I was in the UK, my mother never told me that granny sometimes fell grievously ill (due to her weak heart). She was even bed-ridden a few times. I only came back from England on December 1999, about 5 months after my graduation, not fully knowing the seriousness of this matter. I remember the first words that she uttered when I arrived home were “It’s like we have promised each other that we shall see each other again. There were times when I felt my time had come but God wanted to grant that promise.”
My sister got married on 01 April 2000. Miraculously, she got better at that time. Really better that she could climb the stairs up and down, talked to guests and stood for a long period of time, sometimes without her cane in her hand.
Just days after the wedding, her health was failing again and it was one of the worse. My sis was about to go back to Kuala Lumpur (KL) with my brother in law. After 4 months, I still hadn’t got a job. So, despite my granny’s current condition, I decided to follow my sis to KL so that should there be an interview, it would be easy for me to attend it.
On the morning when I left, I hugged her and kissed her on both cheeks. What really surprised me was she showed no emotion whatsoever. She didn’t hug back, didn’t return my kiss or said anything. She just sat there on the bed, staring blankly ahead. Reluctantly I left the room. I later found out from sis that granny also showed her the same (no) emotion.
Two weeks after the wedding (Friday, 14 April 2000), we in KL received the bad news – granny had passed away. My mum and a relative was by her side at that time. It was one of the saddest news I ever received.
Her words when she greeted me after I reached home a few months ago rang to my ears. She was willing to hold on just a little bit longer so that she could see me again. But I on the other hand, failed to wait on her and left her behind when she was unwell (and maybe when she needed me the most). Maybe that was the reason I was still jobless at that time. It was a blessing in disguise that I failed to realise. I should’ve been there when she was dying, so that she could return my kiss when I asked forgiveness from her. For quite some time, I really beat myself up over this matter. I felt I had disappointed her, failed her.
I just learned the other day that only the selected ones would know their time on earth was almost up. And I would not be surprised or even doubt it if granny was one of those lucky ones. Maybe, that was the reason granny showed no emotion that day. Maybe, that was why she had enough strength during the wedding. She knew she was leaving us…….
Granny, when all plans go well, I would be getting married soon... You had witnessed all your four grandchildren’s weddings except your final grandson, ME! If only you could be there, I miss you granny….
Labels: Granny, Life, My Families, Time
posted by The Pisces Man @ 9:41 pm
3 Comments:
hi john,.... just read your blog page... i feel the urge to comment on a couple of things...
1st... the special occasion on which u n your lover having lunch 2gether... the last statement... both of u talked n talked ... aww c'mon john ... talked only? no kissed? ... hehe just kidding.
2nd... your remark on csi marg helgenberger ... well, u n i john definitely share the same opinion/taste ... i sure am hot for her ...
btw... when r u coming over 2 my place?
ok bye2 romeo.
your "my granny's tale" really brought tears 2 my eyes ....
dear abdun,
congratulations on your engagement and great blog! especially the story on your late grandmother...touching.
Sobbing... I'm sorry that you missed your granny so much. Sincerely yours..
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