Penguin RushMorning Blues..
Thinking of buying a baby sitter? Get it here...
Today marks the final day of my wife's 5-month long extended maternity leaves (she took 3-month unpaid leaves on top of the 2-month maternity leave). This morning, as I massaged baby Ikhwan's forehead, I told him that his Ibu will be going back to work starting tomorrow, that he won't see Ibu as frequent as before and that he has to be a good boy, a patient boy, and an independent boy who knows how to adapt and behave especially at times when I'm the only taking care of him (in the absence of Ibu who will be very busy for sure) and when he's in the hands of his sitter. Upon saying that, for some reason, I just broke into tears, quite to the surprise of my wife.
It saddened me mainly because:
1. Ikhwan won't be able to spend as much quality time with his Ibu and from tomorrow onwards, he will see more of his sitter instead.
2. We 'tawakal' to Allah that we have made the right decision and picked the right sitter and hope that Ikhwan will be spared from any harm, whether when he's at the sitter's house or while he's with his own family members.
3. Throughout the 5-month period, me and Ikhwan spent a lot of quality time with Ibu and we're going to miss that, especially the weekends.
4. Very often, my patience was tested, and I almost lost my temper, especially during night time and it was time for Ikhwan to go to sleep. On many occasions, Ikhwan refused to be tucked to bed by me, with his screams and uncontrollable cries, which immediately stopped when Ibu took over. Obviously Ikhwan finds comfort in Ibu's hands, the person whose face he sees, whose touch he feels, 24 hours a day for the past 5 months. In a way, I'm also grateful I encountered those 'tough' moments with Ikhwan for at least, I know now how to properly handle him and how to control my anger.
5. During the course of raising Ikhwan (in the past 5 months), me and wife have had our differences. Though they were usually resolved quickly, I still feel regret such moments had to happen.
6. Without fail, everyday when I reach home from work, my wife will be home (even though she might have gone out earlier with Ikhwan), and there will always be some meals on the table, whether for our late evening coffee or early dinner. But now that she's back to work, it would be me and Ikhwan who would have to wait for her to reach home, due to her unpredictable working hours.
7. Before my wife gave birth, I'm always the one sending her to work and pick her up from work. With Ikhwan in the picture, we have to go separately since for most of the days, I'd be in charge with Ikhwan's travel arrangement to and fro the sitter's house.
8. I'm also saddened by the fact that my wife has to work extra/odd hours and that she has to brave the jam near her work place all by herself (instead of me driving).
Labels: Life, My Children, My Families, Parental
posted by The Pisces Man @ 1:04 pm
5 Comments:
Hi Pisces Man,
Don't be saddened with the parting. I guess 5 months is a hell lot longer than the 2 months I had. Some adjustments will certainly have to be done. I hope Ikhwan adjusts himself pretty quickly. But then, he's a baby, he'll get used to the sudden unfamiliarity. It's you as the parents that might not be able to accept it. In this interim. Later, you'll be ok. Don't worry. It's quite normal to be very sad when sending off the baby to the sitter for the first time. Like in your case, 5 months - so it's going to be a little difficult to let go.
The differences you have with the wife especially on matters relating to the baby is very normal. But like you said, it'll have to be resolved there and then as well coz you don't want the dispute to affect your marriage. You'll get the hang of it. Don't worry. This is after all your first one.
Gosh.. look at me. I'm like a mother goose preaching to her 'younglings'.
Be strong, Pisces Man. I hope the sitter loves Ikhwan as much as you and the wife loves him.
Do u talk to other parents friends or ur own parents too about this matter?
It is something a lotta parents deal with everyday. I cant say much coz i dont have kids yet but one gotta do what one gotta do. Banyakkan beristighfar once u have tawakkal and berdoa that u and family will always be protected from any form of evil.
If ija and other parents can do it, so can u and probably u get to come out with ur own personal strategies and plans on bringing up ur baby ur way besides that special bond with wife.
i mean parents among ur friends la...kak red pon can help ape...
Hi Ija...tq err... elderling? Actualy, we did send Ikhwan to 2 different sitters every now and then while wife was still on leave. At that time, we were still contemplating which one to choose to be his long-term sitter.
Yeah, present us with an award winning sitter ever, we'd still think we are Ikhwan's best sitter/teacher..
Yes Manal, we did talk to other parents esp among family members. But regardless of how much input we could get, at then end of the day, it'd still be us who have to deal with the 'parting'...
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